If an ex never texts you but posts about you online and calls your family, can that count as abuse? A published California Court of Appeal decision says it can, and that a judge who ignores that kind of indirect contact has made a legal mistake.
A Breakup, Two Requests, and a Hearing That Looked Only at Direct Contact
The case is R.M. v. A.G., decided by the Second Appellate District, Division One. The opinion was filed May 27, 2026, and certified for publication on June 25, 2026. It came from the Los Angeles County Superior Court.
R.M. and A.G. dated and lived together for part of 2023. After they broke up, each asked the court for a domestic violence restraining order against the other. Each said the other had been physically, verbally, and emotionally abusive during the relationship.
R.M. showed that A.G. had tried to contact him more than one thousand times by phone, text, and direct message after the breakup. A.G. admitted that. Her evidence was different. It showed that R.M. posted photos of her taken during private moments, changed his social media username to insulting phrases aimed at her, and called her mother to share personal information about her.
At the hearing, the judge focused on what had happened after the breakup and stopped the parties when they tried to talk about the relationship itself. The court then granted R.M.’s request and denied A.G.’s. The judge’s reason was that R.M. had “made no attempts to contact her.”
What California Law Counts as Abuse
Domestic violence restraining orders come from the Domestic Violence Prevention Act, which is part of the Family Code. Under Family Code section 6300, a court may issue an order on “reasonable proof of a past act or acts of abuse.”
Abuse is broader than many people think. Family Code section 6203 says abuse “is not limited to the actual infliction of physical injury or assault.” It also includes any behavior that could be stopped under Family Code section 6320. That list includes stalking, harassing, making annoying phone calls, “contacting, either directly or indirectly,” and “disturbing the peace of the other party.”
Contact Does Not Have to Be Direct
The key words are in Family Code section 6320, subdivision (c). It says disturbing the peace means conduct that, “based on the totality of the circumstances, destroys the mental or emotional calm of the other party.” It also says this conduct may be done “directly or indirectly, including through the use of a third party.” The current version of the statute lists methods such as telephone, online accounts, text messages, and “other electronic technologies.”
The Court of Appeal held that the trial court read “contact” too narrowly, because it counted only direct contact. The appellate court said the statements that R.M. made no attempt to contact A.G. were “true only if the court excluded indirect contact from its consideration.” That, the court said, “is not the statutory standard.”
Why the Posts and Phone Calls Mattered
The court pointed to two kinds of indirect conduct:
- Phone calls to A.G.’s mother in which R.M. shared personal information about A.G. The court said that disclosing personal information to third parties “can constitute abuse” under the Act.
- Social media activity, including private photos of A.G. and usernames meant to taunt her. The court said the timing of one username change “makes little sense unless he anticipated that A.G. would see what R.M. posted or otherwise become aware of it.”
R.M. argued that the posts were simply posts on his own account, not messages sent to A.G. The court did not accept that view. It noted that the trial court did not doubt that the posts and calls happened. The trial court just did not think they counted. “That was error,” the appellate court wrote, “and requires a new evidentiary hearing.”
A Domestic Violence Order Is Not a Civil Harassment Order
Part of R.M.’s argument relied on cases about civil harassment restraining orders. Those orders come from a different law, Code of Civil Procedure section 527.6.
The court said those cases do not set the rules here. Quoting Nakamura v. Parker (2007), it explained that the abuse a domestic violence order can stop “is much broader than that which is defined as civil harassment.” The proof needed is also lower. A civil harassment order requires clear and convincing evidence. A domestic violence order requires proof of past abuse by a preponderance of the evidence, which means more likely than not.
When Both Sides Ask for an Order
Because both people asked for orders, the court also reversed the order that had been granted to R.M. It did so even though it said substantial evidence supported that order when viewed in isolation.
The reason is Family Code section 6305. It says a court “shall not issue a mutual order” unless, among other things, it “makes detailed findings of fact indicating that both parties acted as a primary aggressor and that neither party acted primarily in self-defense.” To decide who was the primary aggressor, the court must weigh both sides’ conduct “in concert, and not separately,” as the court explained, quoting K.L. v. R.H. (2021). Because the trial court never weighed A.G.’s evidence the right way, it could not make that comparison. Both requests went back for a new hearing.
The Whole Relationship Counts, Not Just the Last Few Months
The court also told the trial court not to limit the new hearing to events after the breakup. Family Code section 6301, subdivision (d), says, “The length of time since the most recent act of abuse is not, by itself, determinative.” It also says the court “shall consider the totality of the circumstances.” The appellate court said the primary aggressor question requires looking at the history between the parties, “and not just snippets of it.”
What This Means for Anyone Asking for, or Responding to, a Restraining Order
This ruling does not mean every post about an ex supports a restraining order. The court did not decide whether A.G. should get one. It sent the case back so a judge could weigh all of the evidence. Still, the decision offers some practical points:
- Save screenshots of posts, profile changes, and messages, with dates.
- Write down calls or messages that reach you through friends or family.
- Abuse that happened during the relationship can still matter, even if the breakup was months ago.
- If both people ask for orders, the court must compare their conduct before it issues orders against both.
Whether someone works with a restraining order lawyer in Los Angeles or handles the case alone, a domestic violence restraining order hearing turns on evidence. Knowing that indirect contact can count may change what a person brings to court.
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ATTORNEY ADVERTISING. This article is for general information only and is not legal advice. Reading it does not create an attorney-client relationship. Every case depends on its own facts, and prior results do not guarantee a similar outcome. Responsible attorney: Jasmine Mines (State Bar No. 331135), Mines Law Firm, 468 N. Camden Drive, Suite 200, Beverly Hills, CA 90210.